Dude, Lets go get some free candy!

So I am sitting out at triage talking to my supervisor about the impending JCO bogeymen lurking just around the corner for our annual surprise accreditation visit. We both glance up and see two young women in their 20's and what appears to be their father walking into the waiting room. 

They all sit down in a triage booth...........

22 yo female disheveled, pin point pupils, lots of old bruises on her face neck and arms. Her CC: H/A s/p fall on ice. "I am allergic to anything without opiates in it."  Are you with these other two people that you walked in with? No

Next

21 yo female disheveled, pin point pupils, Swollen right mandible, lots of fresh cuts and bruises and a nice menage of old bruises all over. Her CC: s/p Assault. "I really need something for the pain." No other info given! Do you know the girl in both next to you? No

Next

56 yo male disheveled, smells incontinent with a touch of GPC menthol smoke. His CC: I want a body scan for cancer! O.k. Sir, Do you know the two girls you walked in here with? Hah hah I wish! Seriously docta I needa body scan!

As the Nurse finishes registering the last of the trio they wander off to different parts of the waiting room. Gradually over the next three hours they slowly move back together until they are all sitting together assuming that we have forgotten the shitty cover stories and why they are here.

In the end Pop and s/p assault get copious amounts of percs and codeine. Fall on ice loses her cool and AMA's before she gets her share of the narcotic plunder. Later she reappears to demand a doctors note stating that she was in our ED all day. I decide to inform her just for shits and giggles that had she waited five minutes she was about to be d/c 'ed with a script for 20 percs. Oops now she wants to check back in!

Triage; means to sort